My Daily Rind Journey of a Mom: Reflections on Health, Unschooling, and Love.

Nothing sounds good to me. I ate a lot of fruit, but half-heartedly. Major gas. I wonder if I’ve been eating too much raw cacao lately; hmmm…..

I have a lot of sadness in me today. I’m grieving over my father’s cancer and multiple sclerosis. My sadness is big, and I don’t have a place for it. I’m not sure where to place it in me. I am thinking about creating an actual vessel out of natural materials to symbolically hold my grief. I know many of you out there have been touched by cancer. This is by far my closest brush with it. My poor dad is weak and tired. It’s all so new, and he’s still undergoing tests to determine the extent. His brother was diagnosed with prostate and lung cancer just weeks before! Again, where does the heart store this pain and worry?

I have a dear friend who facilitates Hellinger Constellation work. It deals with clearing familial energy, in a nutshell. I am going to be having a constellation done in the beginning of August. I believe this will assist me in the process of healing my heart.

I don’t mean to be a downer, but this is real. This is me right now. I am staying present with my feelings so I don’t shove them deep into my cells and organs. I have tears threatening to spray out my eyes every moment, but I haven’t let those flood gates open. Contradictory to what I just said about shoving, but, again, it’s fresh, scary, overwhelming. My husband is a great support, but he doesn’t know what to do either.

Thanks for listening. I welcome your support.

Oh and I ate:

5 peaches
3 bananas
1 apple
handful kale chips
1/2 cup cacao-cherry ice cream (banana base)
one cacao nut ball

May your rest be peaceful tonight,
Shawna

By the way, I haven’t mentioned that my husband, John, just successfully backpacked for 4 days in the Emigrant Wilderness eating only raw foods. I’m so proud of him. It was a challenge that he embraced. Go check out his blog post about it here.

Hi darlings,

I have just loved my food today. I am literally slurping down the last of my shake with a straw. I encourage slurping!

Read on to get to the recipe for this magnificent shake. Not technically raw the way I did it, because I bought hemp mylk. Usually, however, I make my own mylk. This shake can be made with any mylk of your choice. By the way, I spell mylk with a “y” because I like the distinction from animal milk. Spell it however you want.

Here’s what I ate today for the record:

• 2 bananas and 1/3 cup dried blueberries drowned in sesame mylk (freshly made)
• small serving fruit cobbler from yesterday
• 2 bananas, 1 apple, and handful of almonds for lunch
• Big green salad with spirulina, tomato, mushroom, cuke, avocado, artichoke hearts, hemp seed, raisins, green onion and oil and lemon juice dressing
• Decadent Creamy Hemp Mylk Shake (recipe below)

Decadent Creamy Hemp Mylk Shake

In your Vitamix blender with a tamper blend:

About 4 cups of frozen bananas (I think this was about 4 whole bananas)
1 cup of frozen blackberries
About 1/2 cup of tahini
2 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup dates (or any sweetener you desire)
1 Tablespoon maca powder
1 Tablespoon chia seed
2 tsp spirulina
Now fill the canister with hemp mylk until it comes to about an inch from the top of the ingredients. Add more water now and as needed to allow for easier blending.

Pour a pint and sluurrrp it down with a straw!

Yum Yum,
Shawna

I haven’t shared about this topic yet, but it is ever-present with me.

I never had a weight problem until I was about 30 or so. Certainly, after having my son, I gained a lot of weight. Frankly, I was depressed without even knowing it, and I ate and ate and ate for pleasure. I breast fed my son until he was 2 1/2, so I had a great excuse to pack in those extra calories!

I’m only 5″3′ (and 3/4 LOL) and at the beginning of this year I found myself at 191 pounds. That’s really big. Really. I also found out that I had some significant health issues, which I won’t get into for the sake of time and space. Basically, my body had been in a state of dis-ease for a really long time. The naturopathic doctor validated me and said that my emotional and physical states were not my fault. (I fell in love THAT moment) He explained that I had some serious deficiencies, which were making my body malnourished and HUNGRY.

I was not eating raw foods at all during this period. I felt possessed by carbs and sugars, so green smoothies were just NOT in my repertoire. After 6 weeks of healing work with him, my body was ready to accept a raw food diet. I had already begun to lose some weight, and it has really sped up since eating raw in a conscious way. What I mean is that I pay attention to what I’m eating so that I am getting a wide variety of nutrients, if not daily, then most of the week. For instance, I’m not wanting green smoothies right now, so I put a heaping teaspoon of spirulina right on top of my green salad for dinner this evening. Otherwise, I eat whatever I want, whenever I want.

Remember in an earlier post when I talked about listening to my body? Well, that’s the HUGEST part for me. I truly listen to when I’m full and to what my body is telling me that it needs. It’s working for me so far.

Today I got weighed where I work out (same scale I’ve been using all along). I was pleased to see that I am 169.5. My goal is 130-ish, as long as I’m healthy. I’m exercising regularly too, which helps a lot.

Weight stabilization (whether you need to gain or lose) is a regular side effect, if you will, of eating a raw diet. Some people get concerned and notice rapid weight loss when they don’t really want that. Most of us are malnourished and our bodies will do whatever it takes to create balance and health. Sometimes big weight loss has to occur in order for the body to thoroughly detoxify before weight can be put back on and stabilized. I’m simplifying this BIG TIME, please note.

I’m trying to not have weight loss be my sole (soul) focus for staying raw because there are too many loopholes with that. I know myself. All I have to do is think I look good enough, and I will justify a pizza!

What I’ve mentioned before is my truth: I want to be the brightest light I can be in this world. I don’t want to be dimmed by processed, cooked, animal foods. I have a lot of me to share, and I want the energy to do that. AND I also really want to lose the weight, so that I can heal those sad parts of me that are stored in the story of being overweight. I’m ready to write a new book, not just a new chapter.

Love love love,
Shawna

I was stopped at one of the busiest intersections in my town, and I noticed 3 people standing in a circle together on the corner. Two were middle aged and the other was probably very early 30′s. They really stood out because they were completely still. Their stillness in the midst of the downtown bustle caught my eye and my curiosity, because usually when people are interacting, there is a lot of fidgety movements. A lot of energy is spent.

I realized that they were praying. The young man’s lips were moving and he was holding a Bible, I’m pretty sure. All of their heads were slightly bowed, eyes closed. People moved about them, not batting an eye. Maybe not even noticing. I “entered” their prayer. I visualized myself  standing in fellowship with them and receiving the loving energy of the divine. I felt a flush of energy come over me and I felt tearful, as I so often do when I am touched by spirit. I said my own prayer for the patient of mine and his wife who committed suicide over the weekend. I prayed for my father who is crippled with MS and found out he has cancer last week. I prayed for me to have strength to be present in my life with compassion and love.

Stillness. Prayer brings stillness. These people found a complete stillness on a very busy corner.

What if we were to find that prayerful stillness and BE that within our movement. Prayer in Action.

I was very moved and touched by the experience and grateful that these people had the courage to be true to their faith and follow their hearts.

I am not a religious person. I choose not to identify with any one dogma, because I believe we are all spirits having a human experience. We are here to learn, to connect with each other, to remember who we are, and to pray. Prayer focuses our energy, our attention, and manifests an unfolding for our highest good.

I pray often, wholeheartedly, and it always works.

Blessings,

Shawna

I blended about a cup of sesame seeds with about 3 cups of water. Strained the mylk then put it back in the blender to mix with a pinch of salt, capful of vanilla, and a squirt of agave. So yummy and creamy and earthy!

Poured this over a bowl of bananas and dried blueberries.

Ate side by side with my grateful son.

Best mylk in the world is made from nuts and seeds.

Do you know that we are the only species that drinks the milk from another animal? It’s time to wean ourselves. Do the research for yourself. A leading cause of osteoporosis, among other insidious conditions, is dairy! I’ll post references to this another time.

In gratitude for the abundance in my life,
Shawna

Dear friends,

I was reading my great friend, Michelle’s blog (Pure Raw Joy: see link on right of page), and I was deeply moved and humbled by her words of praise, encouragement, and support from her about me.

It got me thinking about relationships between women and our power to elevate and destroy each other. Harsh words, I know. But think about it. Women have a primal (albeit subconscious at times) need to “keep” what is theirs. There is a built-in jealousy and competitiveness between women, whether we are aware of this or not. Many of us have transcended this “nature”, but it is something to which I think we all can relate. If you’re not willing to admit to relating to it in your Own Life, then I’m sure you can recall feeling this competition from another woman.

I believe that a vital component in healing our world, our relationships, our selves is healing our relationships with other women. We are mirrors for each other. What if I were to look at you, dear woman, and see your beautiful eyes, your joyful spirit, how graceful you are, your strength in the face of adversity, and I HONORED ALL that I saw? What if I were to actually TELL YOU THAT? Wouldn’t I be sending out a Giant Vibe of Love right out into the universe? Wouldn’t I be loving you and ME at the same time. You are my mirror, right? Doesn’t love heal all things?

Women, we are powerful! We need each other. When my dear husband compliments me, I feel happy and noticed and appreciated. As a wife, I need to hear these things. But when a woman authentically compliments me, I feel blessed. I feel honored. I feel CONNECTED to the Earth and all creation in a deep way.

We come from our mothers, regardless of how that relationship unfolds in our lives. She is our beginning.

Two weeks ago, my best friend of 4 years, or so, disowned me. She didn’t explain why. She just said that she didn’t feel safe to be in a friendship with me. My beliefs led her astray from what she knows to be true and right. She would say no more. I was extremely hurt and angry. I’m okay with friendships concluding and people moving on. What hurt so much is that after all these years of confiding and what I thought was an open, loving connection, she could not give me the gift of feedback. Her words were vague and noncommital – cowardly. Doesn’t she know me well enough by now that I want to hear the truth, no matter how painful? That’s how we GROW!!! Anyway, the mystery of what is going on within her about me will remain, perhaps. The truths and mirroring that I offer in a friendship can be painful and hard for some. But, dear friends, I love you and I care about your highest good. My intentions are always from this loving place. I am releasing this friend now, trusting that she is taking care of herself for her highest good. I am no longer a part of it.

So, you see. We are connected and need eachother’s honesty, grace, love, and connection. We are the fabric of life. We are the keepers of the hearth.

Thank you my dear friend, Michelle, for honoring and blessing me with your love. I love you. All that you see in me is YOU!

Being the beauty that You ARE,
Shawna

Not only is this the last line spoken in the play “Mouse Trap”, but it’s what we had for lunch. Only, this time I didn’t have to rush off to rescue my burning pie from the oven (I was in this play in high school) because it was ALL RAW and amazing. Now when I say Oh my pie, the inflection is on oooooh, because it’s soooo gooood.

Here’s how I performed kitchen magic today:

Crust/crumble:

• 2 cups walnuts
• 1 cup shredded coconut (unsweetened, raw)
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• equivalent of about 1/2 cup dates, not packed in (I buy many varieties of dates by the case, so it’s mixed)
• 1/2 cup raisins

Pulse walnuts, coconut, salt, nutmet, and cinnamon in food processor fitted with S blade until coarse. Add the dates and raisins and pulse blend until it becomes crumbly and sticks together. Don’t overprocess.

Filling:

• 8 cups total of blueberries, cherries, peach, and apple (or ANY combination of fruit)
• juice of 1 lemon
• pinch of salt
• scant 1 T vanilla extract

Stir well and let sit while you prepare the pie pan.

Take about 1/2 of the crumble and firmly press into a standard pie pan. I only went up the sides about a centimeter. Pour fruit filling into crust. Place remaining crumble on top and press down slightly. Decorate top for the pure joy of it.

Enjoy your lunch or dinner or breakfast or whenever you choose to relish this summer treat.

Love to you,

Shawna

My son requested “the purple drink” for breakfast this morning. So, here it is:

• 3 cups frozen blackberries
• 2 1/2 frozen bananas
• 1 T chia seeds
• 1 heaping tsp spirulina
• 3 cups water
• sweetener to taste, such as stevia, dates, or agave nectar. I used about 1 1/2 T agave in this one. The berries are just not sweet. I usually stay away from agave, especially for my son, but I was feeling too lazy to pit dates!

Blend it all in your high-speed blender, adding more water if needed to get things moving.

I’m drinking mine now in a pint glass with a straw. It’s my favorite color!

I’m not drinking enough water. I can feel it. I’m not struggling with staying raw, but I’m not feeling satisfied with food. I am paying attention to what my body is telling me. One, is the water. That’s crucial. I don’t know why I struggle with that piece. Our water is pristine well water. Delicious stuff, for which I am so grateful. The other piece is fat. I forget to add enough fat into my diet too. The third thing that comes up for me is sodium. Sodium is so important for all of our body functions. When our sodium is low, we can feel sluggish, weak, hungry, and have cravings. If one is drinking enough green smoothies, then you’ll get the sodium and fat. However, I’ve been slacking in the green smoothie department. They’re just not sounding that good to me right now. Ebb and flow.

Here’s what I joyfully ate today:

• 16 oz berry shake for breakfast
• BIG serving fruit cobbler for lunch
• Big green salad for dinner
• snacked on dried mango a little
• 4 chocolate nut balls (Bliss Balls)

I napped for a couple of hours. I didn’t exercise. Cleaned the house a little. Played with my son. Did computer stuff. Lazed around.

I’m surprised that my food list is so small. Seems hard to believe that I ate so little. I probably grazed a little here and there that I’m just not remembering. But maybe not.

Sweet Dreams,
Shawna