My Daily Rind Journey of a Mom: Reflections on Health, Unschooling, and Love.

I am noticing that I need to eat hardly anything at all to feel nourished and satisfied. This is such a different experience for me. I have always craved that ultra full-gotta unbutton my pants-feeling. How absurd, really, to eat that much until you’re literally unable to efficiently move for at least 30 minutes. And then when you can move, you really don’t feel like it. Anyway, I have always adored eating and literally stuffing myself. So, I noticed today and commented to my husband that I’ve eaten hardly anything, yet feel so good, energetic and satisfied. He’s been 100% raw right along with me and he’s noticing the exact same thing.

I came home from work tonight feeling pretty hungry, actually. I was craving a big salad with fresh garden greens. I had 3 bites of this amazing watermelon fruit roll-up we made in the dehydrator and a big glass of water, and my hunger dissipated! I went up to the garden to gather the greens and I noticed I really wasn’t wanting them anymore. I was present with that feeling for a moment (something I’m learning to do more easily all the time) and realized that I was nourished and satiated from those 3 bites of watermelon leather! I felt sort of exhilarated to realize this and be okay with it. The usual me would not allow that to be my dinner because it just doesn’t make any sense to be full from that.

As I’m writing this, my stomach is starting to growl. I woke it up with all this talk of living food! So, I am going to go and enjoy gorgeous mustard greens and arugula with cucumber, tomato, and olives with a drizzled fresh tahini dressing. I wish you could join me…

Here’s what else I’ve had today:

• 1 peach
• 1 apple
• 2 large-ish raw jalapeno crackers
• 2 (mostly) raw protein bars (there are peanuts in these, which I feel funny about eating, but I’m even funnier about throwing away something I’ve purchased. So, until I get over that issue, I’ll be eating these mostly raw bars until they’re gone.)
• several olives
• 3 bites of watermelon fruit leather

Joy to you!

Shawna

P.S. my 3 1/2 year old son randomly asks us “What are you grateful for?” How cool is that? I’m so grateful for the technology that allows me to connect with others’ hearts…virtually. The vibration is still there and real. Give thanks!

What blessings are you counting today? I’d love it if you would share this out loud with me.

I’ve been listening to Eckhart Tolle’s, A New Earth, on tape in my car. The ideas put forth in that book are literally transforming my life in many ways. One of the things that he talks about is over-identification with our roles (i.e. mother, father, husband, doctor, caregiver, etc.) and how that leads to more disconnect from who we truly are because we’re stuck in the story of that role. These are my words, by the way, trying to relate the essence of this complex topic. When we identify so strongly with a role, the DOING-ness associated with that identity replaces the BEING-ness of who we really are. Our egos have a lot at stake in defending their position as the role itself.

Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and want to posit this idea: having an illness is a role too and so easily becomes all-consuming; thus resulting in an over-identification with this role as the diseased person. When we own it in that way, it becomes the majority of the sum total of who we are. How often do we “suddenly understand” who a person is when we hear their title as “cancer survivor” or “he has AIDS“. Our human mind, overly identifying with our own story in relation to these example titles, instantly applies a film of false knowing over who that person is. We no longer see that person as the divine I Am presence behind the experience, but we see the experience and mistake it for Who that person Is.

How often do we do this in our own lives? What roles related to our health and wellness are we identified with in such a way that we literally forget the essence of who we are? We become so accustomed to our dis-ease that we will cling to it for dear life, passively defending it’s existence by our lifestyle choices, all the while crying out in agony for help. Because, after all, that’s part of the role, isn’t it?

Dare I say that it can be comfortable and convenient to live in our familiar story year after year after year… I have done this for so long with my weight, for example. I started being unhealthily overweight when I was in my early 30′s. I am 38 now, so for several years, I have been truly suffering and struggling. However, the idea of facing it and dealing with it has been much more daunting, terrifying, and uncomfortable than just being fat and complaining about it. Now, my overweightness, so to speak, manifested around 30, but my eating disorder and food obsession story began decades earlier. I see now, as I’ve been reflecting on Tolle’s ideas, that I learned a story, placed myself in the starring role, believed in every line, and began to shape my life in a way that would support this identity, no matter how dysfunctional or unhealthy. You see, the universe will provide us with everything we set our attention on. What we think about, we bring about.

So, what if the starting point for our healing, regardless of our treatment approach, was the recognition of how the dis-ease we’re dealing with has become the focus of who we think we are? What if we were able to unplug our soul identity from the experience of the problem? Is it possible to honor a “condition” as an experience in our life that ultimately serves to teach us, and maybe others, something that is necessary for our spiritual evolution? I’m not suggesting that all we have to do is shift our thinking and “poof” we’re cured. But, could that be a start? Maybe the dis-ease wouldn’t go right away, but I believe the experience around it might shift. Maybe it would go away.

I work as an occupational therapist with people in their homes, and I have a physically disabled father with multiple sclerosis. I see a lot in my line of work and in my personal life. I deal with people’s stories every single day. These musings that I’ve tried to gingerly share with you are being contemplated daily, as I journey with people through their dis-ease. I see patterns; some are diagnosis-specific. I see commonalities among the people I serve, and I can’t help but to wonder…

In case you still care, here is what I ate today:

• a green smoothie for breakfast
• seaweed salad
• coleslaw
• apple
• more green smoothie
• a couple of Bliss Balls
• a big slice of raw coconut cream pie
• pineapple
• watermelon

Thank you for reading. I welcome your thoughts.

Love,
Shawna

I just found a cool site that I want to share. Basically the author put into words all the reasons he could think of for going on a raw food diet. I agree with them all. So rather than rewriting it, I’ll direct you there. Come back by here and share your thoughts.

Have a blessed day!

Shawna

If you’ve ever considered hiring a raw chef to come to your home and fix you a week’s worth of food and teach you how to prepare the food, I highly recommend you do it!

I used to never quite appreciate or understand the value of this service. I always thought that it seems like a decadent expense. But now my thoughts on the subject are completely changed. My new BFF, Michelle Joy Schulman, (see her blog) came out from Pennsylvania to grace the Raw Union wedding with her gorgeous soprano voice, and stayed with us here. The unfolding of that visit is truly divinely led and inspired, I think. I was acquainted with Michelle when we lived in PA, as she was and still is one of the chefs at my favorite raw hangout, Arnold’s Way. I was always glad when I saw that she was working because I knew that my meal would have that extra special…something. We moved back to Oregon about a year ago, but I still get Arnold’s newsletter. I saw in there about 2 months ago that Michelle would be coming out this way to sing at the Monarch-Stokes wedding, and I emailed her and invited her to come stay with us since we’re pretty close to her destination. It all worked out and she came and stayed for about 5 days with us.

First of all, her joy and light were absolutely wonderful to have in our home. We laughed our heads off more times than I can count. We really had fun. But the biggest bonus of all, and completely unexpected, was that she was our personal chef for the duration. She created absolutely wonderful meals for us and taught me how to do it. I thought I was a pretty good raw chef, but having spent time with Michelle in the kitchen was such an eye opener. I learned so much and gleaned much needed inspiration. She taught me about flavor combining. Oh, by the way, she created all of these masterpieces without ever tasting a single one. She just sniffed it and knew!

So, the moral of the story is that having a personal chef in your home, no matter how experienced you think you are, is an incredible opportunity and invaluable. I am good to go now for a while with my newfound inspiration and creativity, but the next time I find myself in a raw slump, I will definitely consider purchasing this service.

My food for the day:

• gorgeous green smoothie for breakfast
• seaweed kelp salad (thank you Michelle for the inspiration on this!)
• my husband’s someday to be famous coleslaw
• coconut cream pie from Cafe Gratitude’s I Am Grateful book. I LOVE THIS BOOK!!! You need to have this recipe book in your library!
• Bliss Balls™ (chocolate nut balls)
• a few kale chips
• some nibbles on random fruit pieces

With gratitude for the abundance in my life!

Shawna

That got your attention, no?

Today was a scorcher in Grants Pass, Oregon. It was 95 in the shade. We had a full day of preparing raw snacks in preparation for our upcoming vacation. My husband and I are going our separate ways for a week over the 4th of July holiday. I’ll be taking Jonathan up to my mom’s in Washington for a week of swimming and playtime with the grandparents. John is going backpacking in the Emigrant Wilderness. He’s committed to staying 100% raw during his trek with his buddies, who are not raw. It’ll be a challenge since the guys will be using pack animals to bring in all their favorite foods. Go John! You can do it! For my trip it’ll be a little easier since I’ll be staying at my mom’s, who is supportive of the way I eat and feed our son. Her husband, Jay, also eats mostly raw, inspired by a raw Thanksgiving that I provided them a couple of years ago!

We went for a 2 mile walk along the Greenway Trail out of Rogue River with some friends. We had a picnic dinner, which was fun. Everyone tried our raw delights and were quite pleased and wanted recipes. We got eaten alive by giant mosquitoes. I wonder if there’s something to eat that repels them. I think I heard raw garlic will do the trick.

Here’s what I ate today:

• kale chips, of course
• 2 iced cookies
• mustard greens with tomato, avocado, and tahini dressing (for breakfast. I woke up craving greens.)
• 1 apricot
• almonds
• 2 dates
• handful of cherries
• about 1/4 cup fresh coconut milk
• 1 jalapeno cracker with hummus
• jicama salad with avocado and olives
• watermelon
• a KILLER spicy chocolate (raw cacao) nutmilkshake (this recipe is part of an ebook I’m writing with scrumptious, knock-your-socks-off recipes. Stay tuned!)

By the way, I forgot to mention that one of my dietary goals is to lose weight. After having my son, I went on a binge for a couple of years, on and off. I gained a lot of weight. About 3 months ago, I topped out at 191 pounds. I am only 5’3″ and 3/4, I might add! As of 2 days ago, I am down to 173.5 pounds.

Love and light,

Shawna

I’ve been exploring this lifestyle for 4 1/2 years. At first, I was so totally overwhelmed by all of the conflicting information, that I actually gave it all up for a while.

Then one day I had a simple but profound epiphany that basically said “all of these differing expert opinions are right! They are ALL right for THAT person!”

I realized in a deep way that the raw food lifestyle is a true calling from our inner divinely knowing selves to look to the wisdom of our bodies for the answers of what is right AT THAT MOMENT. This was a huge awakening for me and gave me the freedom to joyfully return to eating raw foods with big trust that I AM doing it perfectly for ME. I am listening to my body and hearing what it is telling me that it needs. This takes practice, but I’m improving all the time.

Most of us in this culture (U.S.) are not raised to listen to our bodies and follow those cues. We are actually quite detached from our physical natures and are bombarded with programming that perpetuates this disconnection. We’ve forgotten our divinity and have given over our power and trust to others. I share these thoughts because I believe they are relevant to the raw food lifestyle. It is challenging to stay with it at times and to always be trusting that it is the right thing.

So, I hold onto the ideas I just shared and use them as tools to remind me when I start to feel unsure.

Jonny's First Ride

The whole day has been fantastic.

I worked a little, and that was very enjoyable. Then I swung by my favorite organic produce market and ran into my dearest friend, Kori. She was effervescent with inspiration about learning to eat living foods. There was an E3 Live representative there giving out samples, so we both had a shot. I was FLYING within about 10 minutes of that shot. I mean FLYING! When Kori and I parted ways, I was literally about to dial her number to say “Are you high, or what?”, when the cell rang and it was her. I answered and she declared, “I am SO HIGH!!!” That stuff is powerful. The rep said that it gives incredible focus and clarity. I’ll say. The energy was electric. It lasted about an hour, then I felt sleepy and somewhat groggy for a short time. I need to ask Kori if she felt that too. I felt like it triggered a little detox episode for me. Short lived and no big deal.

So, I rallied the fam and we went to the park by the river so our son could ride his brand spankin’ new bike (with training wheels). He’s so dang cute and determined. After 2 times falling, he learned to feel it in his body when he was about to topple and he’d jump off the bike as it was going down. He’d pick up the bike and say “I try again.” I love that about him and I kept telling him that. His perseverance is inspiring. How often do we give up when something is too challenging or when we get hurt?

Menu for the day:

• 1 peach
• 1 cup grapes
• raw crackers with hummus, cucumber slices, and tomatoes
• a couple of handfuls of raw almonds
• kale chips (not too many today)
• glass of almond mylk
• 2 of the iced cookies I made today (they taste just like macaroons)
• watermelon (this is what we had for dinner in the park as the aroma of barbecue wafted around our faces)

Gosh, I feel like I ate so much more than that today. I’ve been full and satisfied. The almonds do that for me.

Sweet dreams,
Shawna

Arose and made wonderful, creamy almond sesame mylk and poured it over fresh peaches with spirulina for my son. He gobbled it up. Great energetic way to start the day. Then I took the pulp and made cookies with cashew orange icing. They’re dehydrating now. A trip to the garden yielded a bouquet of mustard greens and arugula. They’re still young enough to not be too bitter. A quick check in here and then off to work!

Enjoy!
Shawna

I packed my cooler this morning for my work day and filled it with fruit only. I’d been feeling sort of heavy from all of the nuts and pates that I’ve been eating, so I wanted to take it easy. By 1:30 pm I was sooo hungry and started to have cravings for starchy foods (i.e. sugar). It was interesting because I had plenty of food. Instead of reacting to this old familiar feeling of hungry cravings and pulling into the nearest burger window, I sat with it and literally asked my body what it needs. The answer was immediate and clear: fat and protein. I went to the nearest market that I know to have a plethora of organics and bulk foods, and I bought an avocado, some bulk almonds, and 4 medjool dates. I devoured half the avocado and a handful of almonds and almost immediately felt better. The cravings disappeared completely, and I felt satisfied. I was no longer hungrily obsessing over food. I felt really good about this experience, because the “usual” me would have caved and excused myself because “I had to have it”. So, this is great progress for me. I am committed to healing my body from sugar addiction.

So, here’s what I ate today:

• 1 banana
• 2 grapefruit
• 2 peaches
• 1 cup grapes, or so
• 1/2 avocado
• 3/4 cups almonds
• 1 medjool date
• 1 1/2 raw protein bars
• lots of kale chips (the most amazing snack ever…did I already mention that before?)
• jicama salad with kalamata olives

It’s a little after 10 pm and I am feeling hungry again. No cravings, just hungry. I’m thinking I’m probably thirsty, so I’m going to drink a couple of big glasses of water. Maybe some more kale…

Love,
Shawna

I have been eating 100% raw now for about a week and a half, I think. I can’t recall the exact day I decided to return to this lifestyle. I’m feeling great. I have no desire for any cooked food. I’ve been eating a lot of heavy raw foods, though. The hummus and mock mash have a lot of nuts. I’m not used to eating that much, but it’s helping me feel full and not have cravings. I’ve been really thirsty and not drinking enough water. I can really tell when I wake up in the morning, as I feel a little bit hungover. I don’t have anymore mucus in my sinuses. On a SAD diet, I always wake up with copious amounts of phlegm in my throat and nose. This is from dairy and sugar, and probably other ingredients too. My skin is looking really smooth and tone. All blemishes on my face have disappeared.

Today I’ve eaten:

2 bananas
2 peaches
chopped fruit (banana/pineapple/mango) in cashew/orange cream sauce and spirulina (amazing!)
1/2 cup cauliflower/cashew mash
4″ cucumber
1 1/2 roma tomato
1/2 carrot
LOTS of raw jalapeno crackers
1/2 cup cherries
1/4 cup hummus
1 cup pineapple
kale chips (the most incredible snack I’ve made. I’ll post a recipe for this soon.)

Love,
Shawna